The Search for the Soul Mate

The Astrologer is often asked: “When will I find my Soul Mate?”… or, its less optimistic version: “Will I ever find my Soul Mate?” What are we talking about when we use the term ‘soul mate’?

All of us share the common desire to achieve some form of ultimate satisfaction in our lives. This longing we all have gets unconsciously projected onto the world of form, and so we seek perfection through union with some imagined thing or person or process that attracts us.

From the spiritual perspective, this longing for completeness is actually synonymous with complete dissolution, because only through completely loosing ourselves can we dissolve into the world of God, the world of perfection, and so experience the ultimate satisfaction.

This experience of ultimate satisfaction then requires the ultimate surrender of the ego, the separate ‘I am’ self, that we each commonly identify with. This type of surrender makes us feel tremendously vulnerable, totally naked, and if it is another person who is being surrendered to, that will have to be someone ‘special’… or so we imagine. Actually, for the spiritually evolved individual, the surrender can happen with anyone. But for the rest of us, who wish to use relationship as the ‘vehicle’ for our journey into complete dissolution, someone who can be completely trusted is a requirement. This person is the ‘soul mate’.

Can Vedic Astrology offer us anything in our quest for the soul mate?

The 7th house of the astrology chart is field on which the partnership, marriage, one-on-one relationship, are hashed out. Each of us is born with our own relationship karma. From the Vedic Astrology perspective, this relationship karma, like everything else in the chart, is a product of the experiences of past lives. In other words, we are each ‘conditioned’ by the past, a past that sets up a certain destiny for this lifetime. The Astrologer analyzes the 7th house and evaluates the karma for positive and negative experiences connected with partnership. The presence of one of the benefic planets of guidance, Jupiter or Venus, would tend towards more positive experiences in relationship. Likewise, if the 7th house is occupied by a malefic planet such as Saturn or Mars or the Sun, the karma for happy relationship is suspect.

There are other chart factors that help to ‘elevate’ the karma for an ideal or spiritual experience of partnership. The 5th house is the house of Romance in a chart. The involvement of the 5th house ruler (planet ruling the sign in the 5th house) with the ruler of the 7th house, or the 5th house ruler occupying the 7th house, or vice versa, signifies a ‘love marriage’ (a term used in traditional India which indicated something other than a normal arranged marriage). The 5th house is also the house of Spiritual Practices, and in a chart that so inclined, the involvement of the 5th and 7th houses can signify relationship as a spiritual path. This would qualify as ‘soul mate karma’.

Similarly, the 9th house is considered a highly elevated part of the chart; it is the part of life that is Good Luck, as well as Beliefs, and Meritorious Deeds. Any involvement of the 9th house with the 7th house, or each of their rulers, is considered auspicious and helps to raise up the experience of partnership.

The 12th house of the chart is considered the house of Loss, and any connection of the 12th house with the 7th house is traditionally thought to be bad, leading to the loss of the partner. But another meaning of the 12th house is spirituality and meditation. If the 12th house ruler is a planet that is otherwise benefic to the chart, the result can be an ideal, spiritual partnership. For instance, for Gemini rising charts, Venus is the ruler of both the 5th house of Love and the 12th house of Spirit, and its placement in the 7th house or with the 7th house ruler indicates an Ideal Love.

Then there is the question of Timing. Through the various ‘clocks’ that are set in motion upon our birth, the astrologer seeks to determine when the 7th house karma will be ‘turned on’. The dasha system (planetary period system) is one of the most reliable of these clocks. The dasha of the 7th lord (planet ruling the sign in the 7th house), or the dasha of a planet occupying the 7th house, are periods in a person’s life when partnership karma will be notably activated.

But when looking at partnership, there is another chart, the partner’s, which is equally important. So the two have to be considered together. Now we have the combining of two karmas, and the plot thickens. Do the charts have individual astrological factors that augment each other’s positive inclinations? Or are the negative factors enhanced? Can the astrologer find spiritual connections between the two charts? Are there beneficial planetary connections that would activate houses such as the 5th, 9th, or 12th with respect to each other’s charts?

The astrologer looks for positive connections between two charts whenever partnership is contemplated, but when the ‘soul mate’ question comes up these connections need to be between partners who already are primed by their individual karma for true spirituality. The desire and ability to surrender the ego, to loose oneself in the other, has to be present in each person’s chart. Otherwise the relationship will focus on the mundane, the material and sensual satisfactions, and result in the normal projection of expectations onto each other that ends in the dissatisfaction commonly found in partnership. To reach the ultimate satisfaction, there needs to first be the capacity for complete surrender. So the question “When will I find my Soul Mate” has to be first answered with “Am I prepared for the Soul Mate?”

13 thoughts on “The Search for the Soul Mate

  1. Fiza hiba

    Hi. Just read your article, it’s pretty helpful because I have been looking for some answers for a while. Found some of those answers by reading but I still have a few. The Lord of my natal fifth house I.e. mars is in seventh house which is Capricorn. And the Lord of seventh is in fifth house.from what I have read I gathered that this exchange of lords is benefic but the Lord’s here are placed in their enemy’s jurisdiction. What does it mean? Can you please tell me the meaning of this placement.

    Thank you

    1. ronberger Post author

      When there is an exchange of house lords (“Parivatana Yoga”) it creates a powerful relationship between the two houses and the two planets involved. The interpretation of 5th house lord in 7th (and/ or the opposite) is “Love Marriage.” I.e., something more than the traditional arranged marriage that was the norm when this whole system of Vedic Astrology was invented. But as always, the devil is in the details. In this case, the two planetary lords, Mars and Saturn, are enemies to each other. Mars in Capricorn is exalted, therefore not so bad. But Saturn in Scorpio is not happy. So it’s a mixed bag. Only a full analysis of your birth chart would show what the true outcome is.

  2. deepti

    Good evening sir! I read your article its very easy to understand by a person as me . Sir I have a question that in my natal chart mercury Lord of 5th house is with Venus in 9th house libra,and Lord of 7th sun is with Saturn in 10th Scorpio and 7th house is accupied by moon what’s the meaning will I get married by my choice or my parents

    1. ronberger Post author

      Regarding your question: A proper answer requires a full evaluation of your chart.
      If you would like to order a reading, please see
      In any case, having ruler of 1st house Saturn conjunct ruler of 7th house Sun in 10th house puts you & partner Opposite to, i.e., opposed to, 4th house, which is Parents. Having Moon ruler of 6th house of Difficulty in 7th further confirms problems via marriage.

  3. deepti

    At first I apologise you for asking you about the situations in which Iam undergoing. Yes! I married 10 years back having two children(,a boy and a girl )my marriage was done against my wish when I was still studying.I have undergone such a bad situations that I can’t explain my husband is totally opposite to me and my maternal family. Inspite of having two children and 10 years of married life I am still finding harmony between we two.your prediction goes 100 percent correct sorry once again thank you sir

  4. Gimm

    7th lord Sun is debilitated in 9th house.
    (Sun is in Rahu Swati nakshatra)
    Lord Venus is in 8th house and also debilitated.
    but 7th house is occupied by Lord Jupiter..
    Lord Rahu in 11th house.

    what it will be like my marriage and wife ?
    I so much like to have foreign one.

    1. ronberger Post author

      Although the 7th house and its lord, and Venus (in a man’s chart) are the primary signficators, only a full evaluation of the natal chart will give an accurate prediction for marriage. But generally, ruler of 7th house in the 9th house of Good Fortune indicates benefits through marriage /partnership. Jupiter is the indicator of Abundance. In the 7th house Jupiter gives Opportunities for partnership. However, Jupiter does not force its karma on you; you have to meet Jupiter half way.

  5. Sachin

    I have Saturn in scorpio in 7th house ( taurus ascendant) and my 7th house lord(mars) is in Pisces with Venus. Lord of 5th I.e. mercury is in 9th with aspect of Saturn. What kind of marriage I can expect and how to make Saturn in scorpio to focus and be peaceful. What shall be way to find marriage partner?

    1. ronberger Post author

      The details of Marriage can only be found through a detailed examination of the entire chart. Generally, Saturn in the 7th house delays a satisfactory marriage. Saturn indicates an older, established, or at least Mature partner. The Mars-Venus combination tends to produce problems in marriage due to excess passion.

  6. Babu

    Dear Ronberger,
    Sa in 1st, Ve in 3rd, Sun&Me in 4th, Ketu&Pluto in 5th, Ju&Ur in 6th, Asc Libra in 7th, Ma & Ne in 8th, Ra in 11th, Mo in 12th. I know I have a tough life here but I want to know if I will get back the person I love & lost (living), if Yes then approx. when IF No, then will I be without a partner till I live?

    Thank you for atleast reading my question.

    1. ronberger Post author

      Without having an accurate chart to interpret, there is no way to get an accurate prediction. The chart must be set up, which requires all birth data, i.e., date, time, & place. Then the dasha and bhukti must be determined. Then the transits consulted. And, for relationship readings, the chart of the partner has to be consulted as well. If you are interested in ordering a reading, please see the readings page for prices.

  7. Brenda Brown

    Dear Mr. Ron Berger, My name is Brenda and I was born June 8, 1965 in Chicago Illinois at 9:30 a.m. My rising sign is in Leo and my descendant sign is Aquarius which is in the 7th house with Saturn being the ruler of my 7th house. Venus, Jupiter, Mercury and Uranus I believe is in my 7th house too. Can you please tell me if this is a good or bad combination for me. I am 52 years of age and for some reason, I have never had a relationship at all. I have dated in the past but I always get hurt and it ends. Will I ever in this life time get married or is this it for me? I am a good person as well as a great mother. I love the Lord and I do all I can to help people. I am not a criminal and I do my part in society. sometimes I feel as though I was born on an unlucky star. Thank you for your time.

    1. ronberger Post author

      For an astrologer to answer the question of Relationship Karma the entire chart must be considered, along with all the little details. To make an analysis based on just a few pieces of the chart is unlikely to produce any accuracy. Please see the Readings page of this website if you wish to order a reading

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